Summer movies (Part 1)

So it seems that 2007 is packed full of medium to low-brow entertainment, perfect for whiling away the hours between those flood warnings. Here's the pick of the ones I've managed to catch so far:

4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Tim Story (Dir.), Jessica Alba and, well, who cares.....
AKA "Who cares? Jessica Alba's in it....", the sequel to Fantastic Four, incidentally still the best comic book-adapted animated TV series ever, introduces the Silver Surfer, who is, you won't be surprised to hear, a silvery being from outer space who flies around on a surfboard and does some pretty nasty things in preparation for the arrival of his master, Galactus, an even meaner-ass outer-space being who's coming to suck the life out of Earth. The Silver Surfer is kind of like a John the Baptist of the galactic anti-Christ. Thankfully, Dr. Fantastic, The Invisible Woman, The Rock and The Human Torch are here to save the day. There's the usual globe-trotting that seems to be the norm in these movies these days, with action sequences at the London Eye on London's South Bank, Shanghai, New York... and enough gags, CGI and schmaltz to keep teenage boys happy. The acting is... well, who cares? Did I mention Jessica Alba's in it?

Ocean's Thirteen, Steven Soderbergh (Dir.), George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and the rest of the crew....
Steve, dude, like stop playing with my head already. This is by far the most convoluted of the Ocean's remakes. I mean, we know the plot already: there's a casino, there's lots of money in it (yes, even more than in the Bellagio), they're gonna steal it. The fun is in figuring out how they're gonna steal it. But what's the point if the plot is so complicated that you end up getting a headache and none of the enjoyment? JMG fell asleep, and both George Clooney AND Brad Pitt are in this movie, so that's saying something. Essentially, this is just an excuse for grown men to wear disguises and walk around looking hip in Vegas. Don't think about it, just soak it all in....

Hairspray, Adam Shankman (Dir.), Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Bynes, Queen Latifah
OK, so despite having been reluctantly dragged to see this by JMG, Hairspray really didn't suck anywhere nearly as much as I thought it would. In fact, I'd even say it was quite fun. And, in retrospect, who wouldn't wanna go see John Travolta in drag? The story follows sickeningly good-natured Tracy Turnblad, as she fights to fulfill her aspirations of becoming a dancer on TV and be recognized as a dignified individual. Oh, and she more or less brings about racial integration in the process, which is no mean feat, for a schoolkid from Baltimore. Christopher Walken is quite endearing as her simple-minded, but honourable father, but John Travolta's naive and over-protective mother becomes a little tiresome after a while. There are plenty of cheesy songs for those of you who like that sort of thing, although most of them are actually bearable, even for those of us who find musical theatre deeply offensive. What makes Hairspray enjoyable is the quirky, at times pretty dark humour that pokes fun at the musical genre. There's a slightly uncomfortable undertone throughout the whole movie that makes you feel that this is the kind of movie Hollywood makes in order for Americans to feel OK about their rather tragic recent past. But if you're not that cynical, then this is entertaining enough. Amanda Bynes is the best thing in the movie, playing Tracy Turnblad's quirky, slightly ditzy sidekick.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, David Yates (Dir.), Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson
I'm all for dark Harry Potter films, but I wasn't overly impressed by Order of the Phoenix. I fear the whole enterprise might be starting to get a little tiresome, which would be rather sad. The wizard world is in denial about rumours of the return of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, and it's up to Harry Potter to train an 'army' of his school peers to prepare for battle against the ultimate evil. This film focuses much more on Potter and his inner struggle against his mysterious connection with Voldemort. Sadly, the film suffers considerably for it, for Radcliffe is getting rather old and he was never that engaging anyway (it'll be interesting to see how he survives another two Potter movies). The older Potter lacks the cuteness factor of his younger self and appears to have gained an annoying sense of self-importance. As a film, Order of the Phoenix doesn't have anything novel to offer over the previous instalments and it feels rather choppy at times (e.g. the fate of Sirius Black). As usual, Hermione is grossly underused, which is a shame, given that Emma Watson is a much better actor than either Radcliffe or Grint. And Nicholas Hooper's score isn't particularly memorable. Having said that, it saves me from reading the books, and I get to learn some wicked spells to defend myself against the dark arts, so it's all good.

Transformers, Michael Bay (Dir.), Shia LaBoeuf, Megan Fox, John Voigt, John Turturro
They're robots in disguise. Really. What more do you need to know? Although here's what I wanna know. How come the good robots (the autobots) choose such crappy disguises? I mean, c'mon, a banged-up Camaro, the cab of an articulated truck... when the bad robots (the decepticons) dress up as F22s, armoured vehicles and tanks and stuff. Anyway, Shia LaBoeuf plays the geeky schoolnerd unwittingly harbouring the key to an advanced, alien, robotic civilization. His first car (the aforementioned banged-up Camaro) also happens to transform into a kick-ass robot, perfect for a kid with no friends. When it becomes apparent that evil robots are taking over the US's defence system, autobots, led by Optimus Prime (guess those robots weren't very good at Latin) start landing on Earth to try and find and destroy the Allspark that is the key to their civilization (hey, I didn't make this sh*t up!) before the decepticons get their hands on it and bring destruction to the human race. Along the way, you find out that robots can be cheesy and patronizing in equal measure, and they break a lot of stuff. Megan Fox effectively provides the feisty female interest who makes an unlikely friendship with the class geek. The visual effects are stunning and are accompanied by Steve Jablonsky's score, which is at times reminiscent of Batman Begins, but cleverly references Terminator 2 at key moments in the battle between autobots and decepticons. John Voight is by far the worst thing in the movie, ridiculously miscast as Defense Secretary John Keller.

Miso Soup

Miso Soup, Live at the Purcell Room, 17 July 2007

OK, how could I resist going to see a band called Miso Soup? This London-based Japanese quartet of guitar, bass, synths/trumpet/percussion/whatever and drums played in the South Bank's World London series. Words rather fail to describe this crazy avant-garde, improv, fusion, funk, jazz, drum 'n bass, rock get-up. But damn, they're pretty cool.... check 'em out on MySpace.

Thai fragrant rice, ginger and garlic chicken pot

1 chicken leg, thigh and drumstick separated
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 cm stem ginger, finely chopped
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 cup Thai fragrant rice
1 and 3/4 cups chicken stock
4 dried shitake mushrooms, soaked and sliced
1 spring onion, sliced

Wash rice and place in heavy-bottomed, non-stick pot. Add all the other ingredients, reserving the green part of the spring onion, and place the chicken pieces on top. Add pepper to taste. Cover and bring stock to boil, simmering over medium heat until rice and chicken are cooked (20-25 mins). Sprinkle the remaining spring onion on top and serve.

Quote of the day, 24 July 2007

The first two quotes of the day weren't ones I could publish on this blog, but this one comes a close third....

So it seems that a blood test on Alexander Vinokourov has revealed that his sample contained red blood cells from two different people, suggesting that he'd received a blood transfusion before his victory on Saturday's Tour de France time trial. Apparently, this is what his Astana team had to say:

"...the organisers of the Tour de France invited the team to withdraw, which was immediately accepted."

which can't even be said to be a euphemism..... I'm sure they're feeling nothing but pride at being invited to withdraw from the Tour....

I'm not a plastic blog (part 2)

I've been following the Anya Hindmarch I'm not a plastic bag bag saga with interest. In the latest developments, it seems that a number of women were crushed as Hong Kong fashionistas fought it out for one of only 1600 of the prized cotton bags available on the island. As a result, the sale of original I'm not a plastic bag bags has been banned in mainland China, which is rather ironic, given that the bags are actually made there. Not to be denied, however, the up-and-coming fashion-conscious Beijingers are already making orders for genuine 'A grade', fake I'm not a plastic bag bags, which are reportedly identical to the originals. In a further insult, the demand for I'm not a plastic bag bags is so high that the fakes are actually more expensive, expecting to fetch about 9GBP compared with the 5GBP original.

Home-ripening

I love it when you go into a supermarket and they sell fruit "for home ripening", as if it's gonna make you feel good about yourself that you buy an overpriced punnet of unripe nectarines, and have to wait at least a week before you can eat any of them.

C#

Apparently, the White Stripes ended their Canada tour on George Street in St John's by playing a concert consisting of just one note, after which they claimed to have officially played in every province and territory in Canada. The note in question was "reportedly a C-sharp". Which begs the question: if you were only gonna play a single note, why would you choose a C-sharp? Why not play a D-flat? Of course, it could be that the person who reported hearing them play a C-sharp couldn't tell the difference between a C-sharp and a D-flat (which is understandable......).

See, 'cos if were only gonna play one note, I'd play a G double-flat.

Quote of the day.....

"No one will miss targets when they're gone"

Pete Riddell, in The Times, on the cut in the number of public spending targets from the Treasury.

퐁양 / 深圳 - Pyongyang / Shenzhen

Pyongyang: A Journey in North , by Guy Delisle
Shenzhen：A Travelogue from China, by Guy Delisle

It seems that not even cartoon animation has survived outsourcing. The fact that capitalist economies should outsource to North Korea and China is, however, not without a considerable degree of irony. Pyongyang and Shenzhen are Guy Delisle's animated accounts of his visits to these two countries while working for a French TV channel. The books are full of wry humour, often resulting from the animator's keen eye for detail. Despite being primarily a fun read, Delisle nonetheless deals with a wide range of issues, ranging from the outward idolization of Kim Jong-Il, the restriction on individual freedoms and freedom of expression, the communist perception of Western capitalist culture, the disparity between the treatment of Westerners and natives, the homogeneity of Asian hotel rooms, food, the boredom of months living in a hotel etc. There are moments of extreme hilarity, such as his efforts to demonstrate to Chinese animators how it is physically impossible for a cartoon character to get up from a chair without leaning forward first, or his lending a copy of George Orwell's 1984 to his Korean interpreter when he asks for an English book to read. There are also very touching moments, such as the effort that one of his Chinese co-workers makes to help him celebrate Christmas, despite them not being able to communicate, and the fact that he only begins to get to know his Chinese interpreter in their last half hour, despite having spent some two months together. Pyongyang and Shenzhen are insightful and entertaining accounts of a Westerner's clash with oriental culture and communism.

Carry on regardfully

OK, I've tried to avoid doing this for as long as possible, but I can no longer refrain. I suspect this will be the first of many entries documenting blatant abuses of the English language in the mainstream media. So let me start here....

First of all, irregardless is not a word. The term is a literal absurdity. It's illogical. Note that illogical is the antonym of logical (the antonym of antonym is synonym). Irregardless, in its common, erroneous usage, is taken to mean the same as regardless, making it a) a redundant term, and b) doubly ridiculous, since irregardless should mean the opposite of regardless. The opposite of regardless is regardful. If you're really set on using an ir- word, you can use irrespective, which is a synonym for regardless.

Hair Affair....

Have you ever cheated on your hair stylist? Perhaps you can help me resolve this problem after reading the exchange below with etowngirl:

"Oh, so let me ask you this. If you went to a hairdresser's and had one stylist do your hair a few times, and then switched to a different stylist in the same place, do you think that would be seen as a sleight by the other one?

I was never really bothered by who did my hair, so when I started going to this Korean salon this Korean girl did my hair a few times, but then the next couple of times I kept going on days when she wasn't in, so someone else did my hair. And now she [the new one] always does my hair, so I'm wondering if the other one's [upset] with me now. I don't really know about hair stylist politics. I'm sure someone's written an insightful novel about this called "Secret diaries of a hair stylist" or something.

But I wouldn't want to upset a Korean woman with scissors...... I've seen "Sympathy for Lady Vengeance" - it wasn't pretty!"

"I think you are guilty of being a stylist slut...

Seriously, I am not joking when I say that I have heard from many a reliable source (ie. my own hairdresser) that switching stylists without having a long discussion with your old one first, or just going from one stylist to another is not good etiquette. I think it's even worse if they work in the same salon.

Watch out for the Korean woman with sharp, pointy scissors..."

"I feared as much. It's bad enough that I switched stylists in the same salon, but my new one is Japanese...... doesn't bode well, does it....?

So do you think there's a way to resolve this that won't lead to a scene out of a Park Chan-Wook vengeance movie? Those scissors are really sharp. They're made with Japanese steel, you know... It's not like I meant to sleight her - she just was never there when I went to get my haircut. So it's really her fault for not working on convenient days! Although she was there the other day, and I even had my tips coloured. Is that, like, really rubbing it in? "Hey, look, someone else is putting red low-lites in my hair!"

I thought that maybe next time I could have her cut my hair, so she doesn't think that I think she's a sucky stylist. But then I'd probably have to go on a day that my Japanese stylist isn't working. Would that be like two-timing my stylist....?

Dude, how stressful is getting one's hair done?"

"Okay, not ONLY did you get your hair cut by a different stylist, but you also highlighted your hair with her?! You have committed a double sin, and I think the only solution, in order to avoid the Japanese steel scissors, is to change salons. If you go back to the first stylist you cheated on just for a cut, she's going to think she's the runner-up and that you only think she's good enough for a cut but not a highlight. And that would be tantamount to saying, "You're my back-up date." No girl likes being the back-up date.

Before you cheat on yet another stylist, just abandon ship and find another salon. Preferably one that's far away from the first..."

So, what do you think? Should I:

a) Do nothing. Pretend this never happened. Keep going to stylist B.
b) Abandon ship and find another salon, preferably as far away as possible from the current one
c) Attempt to reconcile with stylist A (Korean woman with sharp scissors) by arranging my next cut with her on a day when stylist B (Japanese woman with sharp scissors) isn't working
d) Ditch both stylist A and stylist B (Korean and Japanese women with sharp scissors respectively) and go for a male stylist next time
e) Other, please specify