Summer movies (Part 1)

So it seems that 2007 is packed full of medium to low-brow entertainment, perfect for whiling away the hours between those flood warnings. Here's the pick of the ones I've managed to catch so far:

4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Tim Story (Dir.), Jessica Alba and, well, who cares.....
AKA "Who cares? Jessica Alba's in it....", the sequel to Fantastic Four, incidentally still the best comic book-adapted animated TV series ever, introduces the Silver Surfer, who is, you won't be surprised to hear, a silvery being from outer space who flies around on a surfboard and does some pretty nasty things in preparation for the arrival of his master, Galactus, an even meaner-ass outer-space being who's coming to suck the life out of Earth. The Silver Surfer is kind of like a John the Baptist of the galactic anti-Christ. Thankfully, Dr. Fantastic, The Invisible Woman, The Rock and The Human Torch are here to save the day. There's the usual globe-trotting that seems to be the norm in these movies these days, with action sequences at the London Eye on London's South Bank, Shanghai, New York... and enough gags, CGI and schmaltz to keep teenage boys happy. The acting is... well, who cares? Did I mention Jessica Alba's in it?

Ocean's Thirteen, Steven Soderbergh (Dir.), George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and the rest of the crew....
Steve, dude, like stop playing with my head already. This is by far the most convoluted of the Ocean's remakes. I mean, we know the plot already: there's a casino, there's lots of money in it (yes, even more than in the Bellagio), they're gonna steal it. The fun is in figuring out how they're gonna steal it. But what's the point if the plot is so complicated that you end up getting a headache and none of the enjoyment? JMG fell asleep, and both George Clooney AND Brad Pitt are in this movie, so that's saying something. Essentially, this is just an excuse for grown men to wear disguises and walk around looking hip in Vegas. Don't think about it, just soak it all in....

Hairspray, Adam Shankman (Dir.), Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Bynes, Queen Latifah
OK, so despite having been reluctantly dragged to see this by JMG, Hairspray really didn't suck anywhere nearly as much as I thought it would. In fact, I'd even say it was quite fun. And, in retrospect, who wouldn't wanna go see John Travolta in drag? The story follows sickeningly good-natured Tracy Turnblad, as she fights to fulfill her aspirations of becoming a dancer on TV and be recognized as a dignified individual. Oh, and she more or less brings about racial integration in the process, which is no mean feat, for a schoolkid from Baltimore. Christopher Walken is quite endearing as her simple-minded, but honourable father, but John Travolta's naive and over-protective mother becomes a little tiresome after a while. There are plenty of cheesy songs for those of you who like that sort of thing, although most of them are actually bearable, even for those of us who find musical theatre deeply offensive. What makes Hairspray enjoyable is the quirky, at times pretty dark humour that pokes fun at the musical genre. There's a slightly uncomfortable undertone throughout the whole movie that makes you feel that this is the kind of movie Hollywood makes in order for Americans to feel OK about their rather tragic recent past. But if you're not that cynical, then this is entertaining enough. Amanda Bynes is the best thing in the movie, playing Tracy Turnblad's quirky, slightly ditzy sidekick.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, David Yates (Dir.), Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson
I'm all for dark Harry Potter films, but I wasn't overly impressed by Order of the Phoenix. I fear the whole enterprise might be starting to get a little tiresome, which would be rather sad. The wizard world is in denial about rumours of the return of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, and it's up to Harry Potter to train an 'army' of his school peers to prepare for battle against the ultimate evil. This film focuses much more on Potter and his inner struggle against his mysterious connection with Voldemort. Sadly, the film suffers considerably for it, for Radcliffe is getting rather old and he was never that engaging anyway (it'll be interesting to see how he survives another two Potter movies). The older Potter lacks the cuteness factor of his younger self and appears to have gained an annoying sense of self-importance. As a film, Order of the Phoenix doesn't have anything novel to offer over the previous instalments and it feels rather choppy at times (e.g. the fate of Sirius Black). As usual, Hermione is grossly underused, which is a shame, given that Emma Watson is a much better actor than either Radcliffe or Grint. And Nicholas Hooper's score isn't particularly memorable. Having said that, it saves me from reading the books, and I get to learn some wicked spells to defend myself against the dark arts, so it's all good.

Transformers, Michael Bay (Dir.), Shia LaBoeuf, Megan Fox, John Voigt, John Turturro
They're robots in disguise. Really. What more do you need to know? Although here's what I wanna know. How come the good robots (the autobots) choose such crappy disguises? I mean, c'mon, a banged-up Camaro, the cab of an articulated truck... when the bad robots (the decepticons) dress up as F22s, armoured vehicles and tanks and stuff. Anyway, Shia LaBoeuf plays the geeky schoolnerd unwittingly harbouring the key to an advanced, alien, robotic civilization. His first car (the aforementioned banged-up Camaro) also happens to transform into a kick-ass robot, perfect for a kid with no friends. When it becomes apparent that evil robots are taking over the US's defence system, autobots, led by Optimus Prime (guess those robots weren't very good at Latin) start landing on Earth to try and find and destroy the Allspark that is the key to their civilization (hey, I didn't make this sh*t up!) before the decepticons get their hands on it and bring destruction to the human race. Along the way, you find out that robots can be cheesy and patronizing in equal measure, and they break a lot of stuff. Megan Fox effectively provides the feisty female interest who makes an unlikely friendship with the class geek. The visual effects are stunning and are accompanied by Steve Jablonsky's score, which is at times reminiscent of Batman Begins, but cleverly references Terminator 2 at key moments in the battle between autobots and decepticons. John Voight is by far the worst thing in the movie, ridiculously miscast as Defense Secretary John Keller.