Monday, February 02, 2009

One use of strong violence

I love the British Board of Film Classification. Nowadays, in the age of consumer choice, they don't just give you their opinion on which films are suitable for which age groups, they also provide you with helpful 'Consumer advice'. According to their website, consumer advice "enables the public to make informed choices. It covers in particular violence, sex, language, drugs and any other matters likely to be of concern to the public."

Below is a list of the type of consumer advice available for movies currently showing at my local cineplex. Bonus points if you can guess which movie corresponds to which piece of advice:

1. Contains very mild threat
2. Contains mild threat and scary moments
3. Contains mild language and sex references
4. Contains strong language and infrequent bloody war violence
5. Contains strong language
6. Contains infrequent strong language
7. Contains strong violence, sex references & one use of very strong language
8. Contains strong language and sex references
9. Contains strong gory violence, horror and sex
10. Contains moderate sex references and one use of strong language
11. Contains strong language
12. Contains strong language and crude sexual references
13. Contains emotionally intense scenes
14. Contains strong language and violence
15. Contains strong sex
16. Contains strong bloody wrestling violence, strong language, sex and drug use
17. Contains moderate fantasy violence and horror
18. Contains strong bloody violence
19. Contains moderate violence and one use of strong language
20. Contains one use of strong language and moderate sex references

The great thing about consumer advice is that it adds a whole new dimension to the cinematic experience. Suppose it's a Friday night, I'm bored, I feel like watching a movie, I check the local listings, but hey! I haven't heard of any of these movies. What to do? I could spend half an hour trying to find out about each of them on Rotten Tomatoes, but by the time I'm through, maybe I've missed all the showings. With consumer advice, I can just choose what I feel like watching. Say I feel like watching a violent film. My options are almost limitless! But if I know what kind of violence I'm into, then I can easily narrow my choices. I'm into bloody wrestling violence myself, so #16 would be the obvious choice (the smart ones among you will have guessed that #16 is The Wrestler). I can even choose what I want to go with my bloody wrestling violence. It's like a buffet, but better! Say I like strong language, drugs and sex. Why, #16 has it all! How could it not win an Oscar?!?

I still find some of the advice slightly confusing, though. Take "one use of strong language" as advertised for #19 and #20. What does that entail exactly? One instance of profanity? Or a single profanity repeated over and over? This would clearly influence my choice. It would be helpful if they could also clarify what kind of strong language, e.g. "one use of strong language beginning with "f", repeatedly" or something such like. My favourite description is "contains emotionally intense scenes". I've never wanted to see one of those.... and now, I never have to!

The correct answers, in numerical order: Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Bolt 3D; Bride Wars; Che: Part One; Frost/Nixon; Ghost Town; Jar City; Milk; My Bloody Valentine 3D; Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist; Revolutionary Road; Role Models; Seven Pounds; Slumdog Millionaire; The Reader; The Wrestler; Twilight; Underworld: Rise of the Lycans; Valkyrie; Yes Man

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