I'm whelmed...

So I've been wondering this for a while. If you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, then can you be simply 'whelmed'? For example, I just went to see X-Men: The Last Stand. As comic book adaptations go, it was a pretty fun movie, on a par with the first two instalments. Certainly, the special effects were good, but nothing spectacular; I wasn't overwhelmed. Some of the acting left much to be desired (honestly, Vinnie Jones??? Whose idea was that...?), but then again, it wasn't terrible; I wasn't wholly underwhelmed. In fact, I left the cinema with that certain feeling of having just seen a movie and being satisfied; I felt whelmed.

Or did I? It seems that according to dictionary.com, that actually wasn't how I was feeling at all. Apparently, 'whelmed' either means 'submerged/covered in water' or is merely an alternative term for 'overwhelmed'. This, of course, begs the question of why we need to be overwhelmed if, in fact, by merely being whelmed we must be feeling the same thing. Kind of like when people overexaggerate. How can one possibly overexaggerate? (A friend of mine recently explained to me that Americans certainly do overexaggerate, possibly because the norm in the US is to exaggerate, and so they need a term to describe those outliers.....)

You might think that this is merely a pedantic rant on my part, but I assure you that it has important implications. In much the same way as it has become the norm to exaggerate, I have no doubt that it has also become the norm to be overwhelmed. There is, for example, the word 'understate', which one might consider the opposite of 'exaggerate'. But the English language seems to lack a common word to convey the fact that someone is merely stating facts as they are. And so, ironically, lacking a word to describe things accurately as they are, we've resorted to exaggeration (in theory, we could also understate, but that rarely gets us anywhere, e.g., "global warming is just a minor aberration"). And so it is with 'whelmed'. There being no term to describe that quietly satisfying feeling of contentment, we have no choice but to be overly enthused or positively unimpressed. Which, I suggest, is why society is so in awe of mediocrity......

Random acts of shopping...

This is what happens when you go shopping for something that you ultimately cannot find. The frustration invariably leads to transference, by which all your unsatisfied feelings of need, want, excitement and contentment must instead be compensated for by an alternative, usually more expensive, purchase.

Such is my rationalization for buying yet another item of luggage, having not yet managed to find a suitable Crumpler bag for my homeless digital SLR. Herewith the newest, coolest addition to the collection: a Nava shoulder bag in red.

PS - dude, I don't care, I found Bureau first..........

Soy-marinated duck breast with spiced butternut squash risotto

OK, so I now realize that I was rather ambitious in trying to fit everything in one blog entry, so I'm spacing them out. Hopefully, this will give you a chance to pace yourselves, too. I've been through somewhat of a duck phase this week, so here's a recipe for you to try. Now, I know what y'all are saying: "But that's wrong! Risotto's not meant to be an accompaniment! It's a meal in itself! It's a disgrace!!" Well, yes, it is. It's also heresy to put pineapple on pizza. It happens. Now get over it.

Once you've overcome your outrage, take a piece of duck breast and marinate overnight in some oil, half a tablespoon of soy sauce (you can use dark or light - dark is less salty and gives a stronger colour), salt and pepper. I also like to use a capful of balsamic vinegar on any kind of meat. Don't even think of removing any of the skin. If you're averse to fat, go eat some vegetables instead.

Take the duck breast out of the fridge at least 20 minutes before you're ready to cook, to bring it back to room temperature. When you're ready to cook, pre-heat oven to 180C. Bring a skillet to a medium/high heat and place the duck skin side down. When the skin acquires a nice, dark brown colour, turn over and seal on other side. Place skin side up on a rack over a foiled baking tray. With a sharp knife, score the skin three times. Roast for 15 minutes. Or 20 minutes if you want it well done, but I really wouldn't recommend it.

For the risotto, dice the top half of a butternut squash and chop some garlic. Prepare some vegetable stock (you may have this lying around in your freezer, or you can just use a stock cube or just plain water if you're really that lazy). Heat a generous amount of olive oil in a pan to a medium heat and add a knob of butter. Sauté the garlic for a few minutes, then add the squash (you probably don't need all of it). Spice with a teaspoon of cinnamon, half as much nutmeg and half a tablespoon of ground cumin. Stir-fry until squash begins to soften, then add one ladle of stock, cover and simmer for a few minutes until squash is almost cooked through. Stir in one cup of arborio rice and coat with juices, then slowly add a ladle-full of stock at a time, stirring continuously and letting the rice soak up most of the liquid before adding the next ladle. Rice should be cooked al dente (about 20 minutes or so). Sprinkle some paprika over the top.

Take duck breast out of oven and leave to rest for a couple of minutes before slicing with a sharp knife. Serve with a helping of risotto, topped with some chopped basil, and some salad.

Random acts of cooking...

I can think of nothing better to do on a rainy, overcast Bank Holiday than share some more food pictures with you. In fact, I can rarely think of anything better to do than share some food pictures (other than perhaps eating the subject of said pictures....). So here goes, rather randomly, as it's been a while since I've updated this blog:

Beans with chorizo and baby octopus:

This is great for a nice summer evening, after your frisbee's got caught up in a tree and you haven't been able to get it down despite throwing sticks and rocks at it for half an hour. Cut your losses and run by the nearest store to get a tin of beans of your choice: canollini, butter, it's all good. In Spain, they use El Barco beans from Avila to make Judias del Barco (beans with chorizo). We used flagéolet, but frankly, whatever's in your kitchen cabinet. Incidentally, I'm not a great snob with respect to tinned beans (really, who has the time), apart from when it comes to beans and rice, which I think you should always make from dried pulses. Whoever suggests you can substitute the tinned variety is just plain wrong.

Also, I have a general disdain for precision cooking and I do most things by eye, so I'm generally very vague when it comes to quantities of ingredients. And anyway, you alone will know the optimal chorizo to bean ratio to suit your tastes, so go with it.

Seafood is optional, but I think it goes quite well with this. We used baby octopus, but you can use squid, cuttlefish or whatever else takes your fancy. Marinate in some oil, salt, pepper and chopped garlic and fresh chilli and leave aside for at least 20 minutes. Slice some cooking chorizo, button mushrooms, and finely chop half a bell pepper, a small onion and two cloves of garlic. Heat an immodest amount of olive oil in a heavy-based frying pan. I usually drop a small piece of garlic in there so I know when the oil's hot enough. When the garlic starts sizzling, pour in the onion and the rest of the garlic and sauté lightly for a few minutes until the onion softens, then add the chorizo and fry for another few minutes. Add the pepper and stir-fry until almost soft (as an improvement to this, you could grill and skin the pepper first for that smoky taste), then add the mushrooms and some frozen peas and fry until mushrooms soften. Stir in a tin of tomatoes, salt and pepper to taste and herbs/spices of your choice. I'd go for some cayenne pepper, a little paprika, cumin, basil, oregano. You might wanna add a teaspoon of sugar to tone down the tomatoes a little. Turn heat down and leave to simmer for 25-30 minutes. Meanwhile, heat a separate pan and flash fry the baby octopus. They will ooze quite a lot of liquid, so you should try and dry them as much as possible, as you wanna fry rather than boil them. Keep the heat quite high and stir around for a couple of minutes. You can add a splash of white wine (or I tend to like Shaoxing rice wine) and reduce down. Arrange octopus decoratively over beans and serve with some bread.

More praise for Guy Browning

This one's actually from a couple of weeks ago. His more recent ones haven't been that good. But here's Guy Browning on "How to.... understand":

"Understanding is something few people really understand. Most people do overstanding, which is thinking you know about something without taking the trouble to find out about it. Beware of people who tell you they understand: it generally means they are tired of listening [...]

Understanding comes in four phases: ignorance, knowledge, experience, understanding. Both first and fourth phases are blissful, while the other two are painful. Some people make the mistake of amassing knowledge and experience in spades without ever getting understanding. This has all the disadvantages of ignorance with none of the bliss.

Traditional cultures respect the elderly because of their greater understanding. Modern culture venerates youth and inexperience. Raising the retirement age will therefore be a great way of reducing the total ignorance in the workplace."

Frankly, I'm not sure if I agree with the third paragraph. The thought of the retirement age being raised in my office fills me with dread...... but I can see now why it's such a blissful workplace...

Mind your manners...

It seems the Chinese nouveaux riche haven't acquired nouveaux manners to go with their nouveau cash (see this story in last Saturday's Guardian). The Chinese government, ever mindful of its worldly image, has been encouraging its tourists to refrain from stereotypical, anti-social behaviours such as spitting and slurping their food while overseas, for fear of causing offence to their hosts. Such appeals to self-restraint are, of course, to be welcomed. After all, you would never see British tourists overseas getting drunk out of their minds, vomiting and urinating on the streets, starting fights with locals, destroying public and private property and generally being obnoxious.

Oh. Wait...

Well, never mind. Perhaps the upwardly-mobile Chinese tourist will discover the Mediterranean, where he can spit and slurp to his heart's content.