The Global Citizen's Guide To: London Transport (part 6)
Euphemisms:
The privatization of national rail and the London transport system have brought certain noticeable changes (note that improved service, value for money, faster travel etc. are not among these....). Some of these are welcome, at least in principle, e.g. a passengers' charter; some are not, e.g. never-ending engineering works (allegedly these never used to happen, which is why they're needed now), spiralling fares, a ridiculous array of ticket choices (see Part 2) and, most interestingly, euphemisms.
Euphemisms, like sliced bread, must be great British inventions. I imagine it's the British equivalent of saving face, which presumably explains why an increasingly corporate transport system feels compelled to use them constantly. Why say it like it is, when you don't need to say it at all? Here are a couple of my favourites:
1. "Operational difficulties", e.g. (and you must imagine a computerized pre-recorded message here) "I am sorry, to announce, that, the o-8-19 train to, London Waterloo, has been cancelled, due to, operational difficulties."
The "operational difficulty" is, of course, the master, all-encompassing euphemism, which can be used to cover any eventuality. After all, getting up in the morning is an "operational difficulty" as far as I'm concerned. I imagine some fat cat consultant must have been paid a healthy sum to come up with that one. Despite its broad applicability, however, it tends to be used mostly for situations in which they can't get the train doors to close.
2. "Passenger action", e.g. "Passengers on platform 4 awaiting the 18.33 train to Guildford: please note that this service is being delayed on its inward journey due to passenger action at Clapham Junction."
"Passenger action" might evoke scenes of anarchy and revolt as a result of intense passenger dissatisfaction, but in fact, it means that some poor soul has committed suicide by jumping on the tracks. So this is perhaps a welcome euphemism after all.
More on euphemisms in due course. But please let me know if you have others to report on!
The privatization of national rail and the London transport system have brought certain noticeable changes (note that improved service, value for money, faster travel etc. are not among these....). Some of these are welcome, at least in principle, e.g. a passengers' charter; some are not, e.g. never-ending engineering works (allegedly these never used to happen, which is why they're needed now), spiralling fares, a ridiculous array of ticket choices (see Part 2) and, most interestingly, euphemisms.
Euphemisms, like sliced bread, must be great British inventions. I imagine it's the British equivalent of saving face, which presumably explains why an increasingly corporate transport system feels compelled to use them constantly. Why say it like it is, when you don't need to say it at all? Here are a couple of my favourites:
1. "Operational difficulties", e.g. (and you must imagine a computerized pre-recorded message here) "I am sorry, to announce, that, the o-8-19 train to, London Waterloo, has been cancelled, due to, operational difficulties."
The "operational difficulty" is, of course, the master, all-encompassing euphemism, which can be used to cover any eventuality. After all, getting up in the morning is an "operational difficulty" as far as I'm concerned. I imagine some fat cat consultant must have been paid a healthy sum to come up with that one. Despite its broad applicability, however, it tends to be used mostly for situations in which they can't get the train doors to close.
2. "Passenger action", e.g. "Passengers on platform 4 awaiting the 18.33 train to Guildford: please note that this service is being delayed on its inward journey due to passenger action at Clapham Junction."
"Passenger action" might evoke scenes of anarchy and revolt as a result of intense passenger dissatisfaction, but in fact, it means that some poor soul has committed suicide by jumping on the tracks. So this is perhaps a welcome euphemism after all.
More on euphemisms in due course. But please let me know if you have others to report on!
posted by CCT at 3:39 pm
2 Comments:
In Toronto they just call it an "incident" when someone jumps..
RS
Yeah, you guys really need to work on your euphemisms....
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