The Global Citizen's Guide To: London Transport (part 5)
The escalator:
It's really quite simple: if God had intended for you not to move your ass, He wouldn't have given you legs. Seriously, it's not very difficult- if you can walk up the stairs in your own home, you can walk up an escalator. This has two main advantages: it helps tone your thighs and butt, and it keeps human traffic moving. If you do indeed decide to walk up an escalator, though, please keep to the left. No, no, your OTHER left.... in this way, you leave the right side- no, no, your OTHER right...- free for those who are less mobile, those carrying young children or bulky luggage, and those lugging 60-piece crockery sets from Argos.....
OK? So, to summarize:
1. WALK up/down escalators.
2. WALK on the LEFT side.
3. STAND on the RIGHT side.
Go on, try it.......
It's really quite simple: if God had intended for you not to move your ass, He wouldn't have given you legs. Seriously, it's not very difficult- if you can walk up the stairs in your own home, you can walk up an escalator. This has two main advantages: it helps tone your thighs and butt, and it keeps human traffic moving. If you do indeed decide to walk up an escalator, though, please keep to the left. No, no, your OTHER left.... in this way, you leave the right side- no, no, your OTHER right...- free for those who are less mobile, those carrying young children or bulky luggage, and those lugging 60-piece crockery sets from Argos.....
OK? So, to summarize:
1. WALK up/down escalators.
2. WALK on the LEFT side.
3. STAND on the RIGHT side.
Go on, try it.......
posted by CCT at 11:09 pm
3 Comments:
Yeah, unless you're in Toronto. Then it's WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT!
And for the love of god, don't take your half out of the middle...
RS
Dear God, I need to read these things more carefully. The second statement still stands, however..
RS
Hmm... thanks for underlining my point!
I guess you must have meant "Walk on your OTHER left, stand on your OTHER right"....
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