Greetings

ermmm..... so is there a way to re-name a blog? I may have been rather reactionary and given this one a somewhat inappropriate name, inspired in part by having recently watched 'Mean Girls' (which has some great lines, as you can see (check out also the alternate subtitles on the DVD version: "This is a shot of Africa. You can tell because of the giraffes")), and having just interacted with one such person, for whom I'm now going to coin the acronym NSB.....

So, I'm kinda new to this whole blogging phenomenon and somewhat apprehensive about starting one of these things. This is despite repeated urgings from my friend schmandrea (of whom more at schmandrea.blogspot.com). I imagine she feels that one's musings should have an outlet other than her phone's inbox, and having just sent her another long, acerbic text message, I suppose she has a point (it went something along the lines of "Hmmm.... love the smell of fried chicken on a hot day's train ride [=sarcasm]. Gd grief [=expression of dismay and (possibly misplaced) appeal for sympathy]. Also hate pasty-faced, white-ass, condescending, mid-aged nasty skank brit byotch women... [=vitriol, and aforementioned inspiration for title]", followed by an indirect reference to the greatness of Scarlett Johansson to counterbalance the general negative tone....

So I should say that this particular NSB was a woman I encountered in my office building. Some weekends they hire out the teaching rooms to external courses (on what appear to be weird self-improvement tutorials). I imagine this woman was the organizer of one of these, as I've never seen her before. So I signed in at reception (as one does out of hours) and was walking to my office when this woman, who was loitering in the hallway chatting to some other guy, turns to me and says: "Hello, are you ok there?" in that certain British middle-aged, slightly high-pitched, over-enunciated, condescending tone of voice that makes it seem like one is being nice to you when, in fact, they're thinking "Hmmm.... he doesn't look white like the rest of us. Clearly he must be in the wrong place." To which I replied: "Yes, I'm fine" and started to walk away. But then she goes: "Do you know where you're going?" "Yeah...", I say in a slightly irritated tone of voice. "Are you here to meet someone?" "No, I work here, you nosy cow. Who the heck are YOU???" OK, I didn't quite say the last part... "Oh, you work here. That's fine then..." I should friggin' well hope that's fine, 'cos I've been here for six years, and who the heck are you to tell me what is and isn't fine, since you don't even work here anyway?? What a nerve...

So to all of you NSBs out there, next time you see a person of non-pasty complexion, yes, we do speak English, we do have jobs, and we can find our own way. OK?? So shut it!